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- • 9 min read
If programming languages were people, thoughts from a Generative AI
- Authors
- Name
- Christopher Mortimer
- Socials
- tw@mortie23
- Can you relate to these?
- General purpose
- Python
- JavaScript
- C#
- C++
- Java
- Maths and stats and data science
- R
- SAS
- Matlab
- Haskell
- Databases
- SQL
- Mostly Web
- HTML
- CSS
- PHP
- Low Level
- C
- Rust
- Go
- Zig
- Assembly
- Scripting
- Bash
- PowerShell
- Perl
Can you relate to these?
The following post was inspired from this series of images. Let's see what a Generative AI thinks of what personifications of programming languages might be.
The following text and images were all generated with AI by Meta
General purpose
Python
- Name: Clement (Clem for short)
- Age: Late 20s
- Personality: Easy-going, versatile, and adaptable
- Appearance: Casual, laid-back attire (hoodie, jeans)
- Interests: Data science, machine learning, web development, automation
- Skills: Quick learner, problem-solver, team player
- Quirks: Loves indentation, hates unnecessary complexity
- Favorite hangouts: Data science conferences, hackathons, research labs
Clem is the friendly, approachable tech enthusiast. Always willing to lend a helping hand or share knowledge.
- Python: versatile, easy-to-learn, and widely applicable
JavaScript
- Name: Jax (short for JavaScripton)
- Age: Early 20s
- Personality: Dynamic, energetic, and creative
- Appearance: Trendy, edgy attire (streetwear, bold accessories)
- Interests: Web development, frontend engineering, gaming, VR
- Skills: Quick thinker, innovative problem-solver, master of async
- Quirks: Loves callbacks, hates IE browser compatibility issues
- Favorite hangouts: Tech meetups, hackathons, gaming communities
Jax is the vibrant, entrepreneurial coder. Always pushing boundaries and exploring new possibilities.
- JavaScript: dynamic, innovative, and web-centric
C#
- Name: Jane
- Age: Polished professional (30s)
- Personality: Modern, efficient, and business-savvy
- Appearance: Tailored suit, sleek tech gadgets
- Interests: Enterprise software, web development, mobile apps
- Skills: Expert in .NET framework, master of LINQ
- Quirks: Loves garbage collection, hates manual memory management
- Favorite hangouts: Corporate offices, tech meetups
Jane is the sophisticated, enterprise-focused developer. Always prioritizing productivity.
- C#: enterprise-focused, modern, efficient, .NET framework
C++
- Name: Axel (Cpp)
- Age: Ambitious young adult (20s)
- Personality: Powerful, complex, and assertive
- Appearance: Edgy, avant-garde attire (black leather, piercings)
- Interests: Game development, high-performance computing, systems programming
- Skills: Template metaprogramming master, performance optimization expert
- Quirks: Loves operator overloading, hates unnecessary constraints
- Favorite hangouts: Gaming communities, tech conferences
Axel is the bold, cutting-edge developer. Always pushing boundaries.
- C++: high-performance, complex, game development
Java
- Name: Jake (The Architect)
- Age: Established/Professional (40s)
- Personality: Structured, organized, and meticulous
- Appearance: Business attire (suit, tie), clean-cut hair
- Interests: Enterprise software, Android app development, scalability
- Skills: Master of object-oriented design, expert in multithreading
- Quirks: Loves stability, hates reinventing the wheel
- Favorite hangouts: Oracle conferences, Java user groups
Jake is the seasoned, methodical enterprise developer. Always building robust systems.
- Java: structured, scalable, enterprise-focused
Maths and stats and data science
R
- Name: Darren (Daz for short)
- Age: Late-20s
- Personality: Analytical, meticulous, and detail-oriented
- Appearance: Professional, polished (business attire)
- Interests: Statistics, data visualization, research, academia
- Skills: Expert data wrangler, visualization master, research ninja
- Quirks: Loves tidy data, hates messy code
- Favorite hangouts: Academic conferences, research institutions, statistical meetups
Darren is the sharp, insightful statistician. Always focused on precision and accuracy.
- R: precise, analytical, and research-focused
SAS
- Name: Glendon (Glen for short)
- Age: Late 40s
- Personality: Conservative, reliable, and detail-oriented
- Appearance: Classic business attire (suit, pearls)
- Interests: Data analysis, reporting, pharmaceuticals, finance
- Skills: Expert data manipulation, precise reporting
- Quirks: Loves structured data, hates unformatted code
- Favorite hangouts: Corporate offices, conference rooms
Glen is the seasoned, no-nonsense professional. Always prioritizing accuracy and precision.
- SAS: reliable, precise, and industry-focused (pharmaceuticals, finance)
Matlab
- Name: Matilda (Maddie)
- Age: Late 20s (with a grad student vibe)
- Personality: Intellectual, creative, and slightly introverted
- Appearance: Academic attire (fleece, jeans)
- Interests: Numerical computing, signal processing, research
- Skills: Expert numerical analyst, algorithm designer
- Quirks: Loves vectorized operations, hates loop optimizations
- Favorite hangouts: Research labs, academic seminars
Matilda is the brilliant, analytical thinker. Always exploring new mathematical concepts.
- Matlab: intellectual, creative, and research-oriented (numerical computing, signal processing)
Haskell
- Name: Helena (The Theorist)
- Age: Intellectual/Philosophical (30s)
- Personality: Logical, abstract, and innovative
- Appearance: Academic attire (turtleneck, glasses), eclectic accessories
- Interests: Functional programming, type theory, category theory
- Skills: Master of lazy evaluation, expert in monads
- Quirks: Loves elegance, hates imperative programming
- Favorite hangouts: Academic conferences, functional programming meetups
Helena is the brilliant, theoretical functional programming enthusiast. Always exploring new concepts.
- Haskell: logical, abstract, functionally elegant
Databases
SQL
- Name: Sammy (SQLicious)
- Age: Mid-30s
- Personality: Logical, methodical, and direct
- Appearance: Simple, functional attire (button-down, khakis)
- Interests: Database management, querying, data modeling
- Skills: Master query writer, database optimizer
- Quirks: Loves normalization, hates data redundancy
- Favorite hangouts: Database conferences, online forums
Sammy is the straightforward, analytical expert. Always seeking efficient data solutions.
- SQL: logical, methodical, and database-centric
Mostly Web
HTML
- Name: Hollis (Ollie)
- Age: Structured/Organized (25)
- Personality: Logical, systematic, and foundational
- Appearance: Clean-cut, minimalist attire (button-down, slacks)
- Interests: Web development, structure, accessibility
- Skills: Master of semantic markup, expert in document flow
- Quirks: Loves order, hates ambiguity
- Favorite hangouts: Web development forums, W3C meetups
Hollis is the meticulous, detail-oriented web architect. Always building solid foundations.
- HTML: structural, logical, foundational
CSS
- Name: Cassie (Stylista)
- Age: Fashionable/Creative (28)
- Personality: Artistic, expressive, and versatile
- Appearance: Trendy, stylish attire (designer clothing, bold accessories)
- Interests: Web design, visual effects, user experience
- Skills: Expert in layout, master of color theory
- Quirks: Loves aesthetics, hates bland designs
- Favorite hangouts: Design conferences, web design communities
Cassie is the creative, visually-oriented web designer. Always styling and refining.
- CSS: artistic, expressive, visual
PHP
- Name: Pete (PHPster)
- Age: Seasoned/Pragmatic (35)
- Personality: Dynamic, flexible, and server-side savvy
- Appearance: Comfortable, practical attire (t-shirt, jeans)
- Interests: Web development, server-side scripting, database integration
- Skills: Master of dynamic content, expert in database interactions
- Quirks: Loves flexibility, hates unnecessary complexity
- Favorite hangouts: Web development forums, LAMP meetups
Pete is the experienced, pragmatic web developer. Always dynamically solving problems.
This personification reflects their characteristics, strengths, and typical use cases:
- PHP: dynamic, flexible, server-side focused
Low Level
C
- Name: Charlie (Cee)
- Age: Grizzled veteran (50s)
- Personality: Pragmatic, efficient, and no-nonsense
- Appearance: Weathered denim, leather jacket
- Interests: Operating systems, embedded systems, performance optimization
- Skills: Master of memory management, expert coder
- Quirks: Loves pointers, hates unnecessary abstraction
- Favorite hangouts: Basement labs, hackathons
Charlie is the seasoned, battle-hardened programmer. Always focusing on raw performance.
- C: performance-oriented, low-level, embedded systems
Rust
- Name: Ruby (Rusty)
- Age: Environmentalist/Outdoor enthusiast (late 20s)
- Personality: Safety-conscious, resourceful, and meticulous
- Appearance: Eco-friendly attire (recycled materials, outdoor gear)
- Interests: Systems programming, security, sustainable coding
- Skills: Memory safety expert, performance optimizer
- Quirks: Loves borrow checker, hates data races
- Favorite hangouts: Open-source communities, hacking meetups
Ruby is the diligent, earthy systems programmer. Always prioritizing safety and efficiency.
- Rust: safety-focused, systems programming, performance optimization
Go
- Name: Gideon (Goody)
- Age: Efficient productivity enthusiast (mid-30s)
- Personality: Simple, pragmatic, and concurrent
- Appearance: Minimalist attire (clean lines, monochromatic)
- Interests: Network programming, cloud computing, scalability
- Skills: Goroutine master, performance optimizer
- Quirks: Loves simplicity, hates unnecessary complexity
- Favorite hangouts: Cloud conferences, DevOps meetups
Gideon is the streamlined, productivity-focused developer. Always optimizing for efficiency.
- Go: efficient, concurrent, scalable, cloud computing
Zig
- Name: Zara (Zee)
- Age: Rebellious/Nonconformist (early 20s)
- Personality: Fearless, experimental, and liberated
- Appearance: Counterculture attire (bold, eclectic)
- Interests: Systems programming, embedded systems, compiler design
- Skills: Master of compile-time evaluation, performance hacker
- Quirks: Loves generics, hates runtime overhead
- Favorite hangouts: Alternative tech communities, hackathons
Zara is the bold, unconventional systems programmer. Always pushing boundaries.
- Zig: experimental, liberated, compile-time evaluation, performance hacking
Assembly
- Name: Axel (The Tinkerer)
- Age: Grizzled/Veteran (50s)
- Personality: Low-level, practical, and resourceful
- Appearance: Wearable tech, utilitarian attire (overalls, goggles)
- Interests: Embedded systems, reverse engineering, optimization
- Skills: Expert in machine code, master of memory management
- Quirks: Loves efficiency, hates unnecessary abstraction
- Favorite hangouts: Hacker gatherings, embedded systems meetups
Axel is the battle-hardened, hands-on embedded systems expert. Always optimizing performance.
- Assembly: low-level, efficient, embedded systems-oriented
Scripting
Bash
- Name: Barney (Bashy)
- Age: Seasoned veteran (40s)
- Personality: Practical, straightforward, and reliable
- Appearance: Comfortable, worn-in attire (flannel, jeans)
- Interests: System administration, scripting, Unix philosophy
- Skills: Master of pipes, expert in command-line fu
- Quirks: Loves brevity, hates unnecessary complexity
- Favorite hangouts: Unix forums, command-line meetups
Barney is the dependable, no-frills sysadmin. Always getting the job done.
- Bash: reliable, practical, Unix-centric
PowerShell
- Name: Dale (PowerDale)
- Age: Ambitious professional (30s)
- Personality: Modern, efficient, and integrated
- Appearance: Business-casual attire (button-down, khakis)
- Interests: Windows administration, DevOps, automation
- Skills: Expert in cmdlets, master of pipeline management
- Quirks: Loves consistency, hates outdated methods
- Favorite hangouts: Microsoft conferences, DevOps meetups
Dale is the polished, results-driven Windows admin. Always streamlining processes.
- PowerShell: modern, efficient, Windows-focused
Perl
- Name: Penny (Perlie)
- Age: Quirky/Artistic (20s)
- Personality: Versatile, expressive, and slightly eccentric
- Appearance: Eclectic attire (vintage clothing, colorful hair)
- Interests: Text processing, regex, open-source activism
- Skills: Master of pattern matching, expert in scripting
- Quirks: Loves complexity, hates boredom
- Favorite hangouts: Open-source communities, hacker gatherings
Penny is the creative, unconventional problem-solver. Always finding innovative solutions.
- Perl: versatile, expressive, text-processing expert